Conservative MP: Flying Cornish flag should be banned after Britain leaves EU

Flying Cornwall’s national flag, the flag of Saint Piran, should be banned, a Conservative MP has suggested.

Eastham MP Peter Chumbly-Newton made the comment at a South West Erecting Conference in Plymouth Tuesday afternoon, shortly after a lunch break where the MPs feasted on salmon pate, caviar vol-au-vents, and expensive champers.

In his speech Mr Chumbly-Newton said: “People in Cornwall seem to think they can go it alone. That isn’t going to happen. After Britain leaves the European Union, no matter what deal we get, we will need to work together. Cornwall is part of the South West and should start acting like it.

He continued: “Politicians in Cornwall don’t seem to like any devolution deal we offer them. The way I see it is this, if people in Cornwall don’t want to work with the rest of the country, maybe, after Britain leaves the EU, we should ban them from flying that black and white flag of theirs. The national flag of England is the flag of St George, they need to start accepting that fact.”

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Cornwall could split from England – LITERALLY!

A professor from Finchley University, in Barnham-on-Wick, has warned Cornwall Council against further house building, advising the council that the extra weight from inward migration could tear Cornwall away from England, leaving the region to drift off into the Atlantic.

Professor Morton, Head of Environmental Physics at Finchley University said: “The Tamar is essentially a tear between two land masses, held together by the top end. But any extra weight could widen the gap and see Cornwall drift off into the Atlantic.

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Assad reveals new passion for ice hockey

Bashar al-Assad’s latest announcement, broadcast live on Syrian state television, has angered both US and UK officials.

He said: “whilst on my visit to Moscow, Mr Putin kindly offered to teach me how to play ice hockey. He has insisted that I go to Moscow regularly to learn the game. So I agreed.

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Donald Trump gets go-head for hunting park in Aberdeenshire

US tycoon Donald Trump has been given the go-ahead to have a £2 billion hunting park built near to his golf course in Aberdeenshire, Scotland – despite Aberdeenshire Council seemingly unable to clarify which game will be hunted on the 400 acre site.

Trump however insists that the game will be the Scot’s favourite dish, haggis.

Whilst many people in Scotland claim the haggis to be a wild animal (haggis scoticus) it is actually the innards of sheep. It is unclear whether Trump is aware of this fact.

According to Angus MacFly, landlord of The Merry Thistle in Aberdeen, Trump fell in love with the dish on a recent visit to his pub. He said:

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