Treliske Hospital NOT on black alert

The Royal Cornwall Hospital (or Treliske to everyone who knows it) is NOT on black alert.

That’s according to Julia Bird, a spokeswoman for the hospital. She said: “The hospital is currently NOT on black alert, but is still under a lot of pressure. People should think twice before becoming ill and using our services for the foreseeable future.”

Truro resident, Sarah Napkin, 39, is worried about the strain that the number of housing developments being built is having on the hospital.

She said: “Treliske is back to normal now, but for how long? Every time I go out I see another housing development has gone up.

“I took my daughter to see the flowers in our local park last Sunday, but instead of daffodils and tulips we saw about 200 houses that have suddenly gone up like some picture from one of those kid’s pop-up books.”

With another housing development expecting to go up tomorrow, is Sarah right to be concerned?

Property developer, Rick Piles thinks not: “The state of Cornwall’s hospitals and infrastructure has got nothing to do with us property developers. And the suggestion that Cornwall shouldn’t have more homes built than anywhere else in England is nothing but propaganda from the NIMBY’s who already have homes in the county.”

With the general election only days away, the state of Cornwall’s hospitals will no doubt influence the way people will vote in the region.

NHS campaigner, Julia Lippy, 37, from Truro said: “People should think about the black alerts at Treliske and Cornwall’s other hospitals and the state of the NHS in general before they cast their votes on May the 7th.”

Treliske

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Cornish village likely to be ‘awash’ with ‘hot-blooded’ Demelza Carne fans

Following the success of BBC One’s Poldark, last Sunday night, the village of Illogan in Cornwall is likely to be awash with hot-blooded Demelza Carne fans. That’s according to Jimmy Brown-Balls, head of Let’s Visit Cornwall.

He said: “I can’t imagine visitors wanting to see Illogan itself because it hasn’t got any views of the sea, but social networking sites have been buzzing with comments suggesting that the place is likely to be awash with hot-blooded ginger lovers looking for Demelza Carne look-alikes. Not all the comments have been about Aidan Turner with his top off.”

Bronnen Manire, 34, who works at the Cornish Oven pasty shop said: “I’ve been told to expect plenty of assholes… holidaymakers… coming in, asking for things like fish pasties and cheesy slices.

“The locals won’t like it, but that Timmy Brown-Bags says it’ll boost the shops profits by about £10,000 a day. I don’t know. If it’s gonna be that busy we’ll need to get one of those drive thru’s like McDonald’s have got.”

Dorothy Tregenza, 102, said: “I’ve been living in Illogan all my life and the last time I saw a redhead was… before the Second World War, I think. She buggered off down West somewhere with some fancy man. Demelza, that was her name.”

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