Segway riders bearing gifts of bling, dubstep, and respect: school play sparks mixed reactions from parents

Year after year we have seen countless primary schools axeing the traditional Christmas nativity in favour of politically-correct “Winter Celebrations”. And by the looks of it, this year’s not going to be any different.

St Cleef Primary School in South East London is rehearsing their play which features three Segway riders: an African NHS doctor, a Muslim mayor, and a Turkish barber, who follow the Bethnal Green Star to a refugee centre where they bear gifts of bling, dubstep, and respect.

One concerned mum, Cindy White, 23, said: “I wasn’t surprised that the school wasn’t holding a traditional play. Last year’s play had Thor in it, who came to the school bearing sweets. It caused a lot of concern because the guy playing the god of thunder looked like a paedo. Nothing like the actor in the Marvel films. It’s a good job the school banned any photography for that one.

“Anyway I read the headteacher’s e-mail about this year’s play and I kinda bought into it. I liked the idea of the doctor bearing bling. I wouldn’t mind a bit of bling myself this Christmas, especially if it’s from a fancy doctor.

“A few days ago though, my daughter came home in tears, saying Mrs Khan said she’s got to play the back end of the goat. Why’s the play even got a goat in it? It’s set in a refugee centre for ****’s sake?”

Another single parent, who declined to be named, said: “It’s not like the play hasn’t got any religious elements. My son Dexter, he’s playing the NHS doctor, who’s just like one of the wise men, but cooler, right? Another school in the area, they’re going for one of those disco plays, with a lobster instead of Jesus. The whole disco thing is over done now. At least the play at Dexter’s school’s got dubstep. You get me?”



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