First, Merlin’s face carved into rock. Now English Heritage wants to erect a stone phallus – with Noel Edmonds face on it!

Carved directly into the rock itself, the face of Merlin is an imposing site on the Tintagel landscape. And despite criticism, it’s the first of many new sculptures and installations commissioned by English Heritage.

The next sculpture, commissioned to local artist, Mariah England, 42, will be a 12 foot standing stone, shaped like a giant cock, with the face of King Arthur – if the legendary king looked like Noel Edmonds – carved into the bellend.

Speaking to reporters at the Merlin’s face opening event, the sculptress said:

“I knew the sculpture had to have height and somehow convey awe-inspiring power, so I came up with the idea of carving my own standing stone in the shape of a phallus, with Arthur’s head at the top, looking down on his subjects, just how you’d imagine him doing.

“People who’ve seen the design have said to me that the head does look a bit like Noel Edmonds. But who’s to say that King Arthur didn’t look like Noel Edmonds?

“I think it’s great what English Heritage are doing with the site. And they’re using local artists. I moved to Cornwall almost five years ago now, and consider it my home, just as much as anyone.”

Tintagel

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